notes on:
Happily Ever After: For Better or Worse!
Proverbs 5 & 7
Transition video for “Happily Ever After” that transitions into opening video from Somebody’s Daughter. (Play from beginning of documentary 1 through 1:52 then fade to black)
In the typical wedding ceremony a couple voices a covenant commitment to one another...often times the euphoria of the day outshines the weight of their words. The typical ceremonial vows shared follow this pattern…
I, Steve, take you Susan, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
The moment of truth for those words, expressed in love and with genuine intention to fulfill, happens when “for worse” becomes a reality.
Being the Pastor of one church for over 20 years I have watched over the years as dear friends and wonderful Christian face the moments of “for worse” in their marriage. The struggles they walk through and the pain they experience breaks my heart. That’s why I want to open the door to these dark, painful rooms and address some of the issues that attempts to turn out the lights on a godly marriage.
Almost two years ago we as a church family walked through a difficult season with two people who are precious friends of mine and who dearly loved by our church.
On November 8th 2008 I stood before our congregation and read a very difficult letter. As I read every word I hoped and believed that today would be in the near future.
This is the letter:
On Wednesday night November 5, 2008, I received some very heart-breaking news that required a difficult response. Several hours after our normal Wednesday Evening activities Tim Sexton, who serves as the Director of LifeGroups-Leadership, revealed to me that he has been involved in an extra-marital affair. He admitted this to me after his involvement had been exposed and he had been confronted. I, along with Tim Luke, met with him for several hours discussing the destructive consequences of sin, the details of his present position, the biblical demand for repentance and confession, the amazing love and the refreshing forgiveness of God, and the processes of correction, counsel and restoration. I assured Tim in that meeting several times and several times throughout the week that I, personally, as well as our entire staff and church family love him and we will support him. However, due to the nature of his immoral activity I immediately dismissed him from the staff. Georgia, who now works as the assistant for our Student ministry, will continue in her role. We closed the time with prayer for God to honored in Tim’s response and for our church family to demonstrate maturity, wisdom and grace.
I met with Tim’s wife, Georgia, and reassured her of our desire to help the entire family walk through this valley. Later on Thursday I did have a chance to meet with the other couple involved and shared the same commitment and desire to walk with them through this painful situation toward restoration. We want to uphold our biblical responsibility to exercise church discipline and accountability filled with the love and compassion of Christ.
Thursday morning I also met with David Smith, who serves as our Interim Chairman of Deacons, to discuss the appropriate response and the process we needed to follow in church discipline. After praying with and talking to all of those immediately involved I met with our church staff and informed them of the events. I asked them to commit to refrain from talking about this situation and to ask anyone who approached them to commit to praying for both families and to refrain from conversation which could be hurtful to these families and the church.
This morning I have also met with our entire Deacon Fellowship and the LifeGroup that Tim has taught for several years.
We will continue to support these two families with humility and love by providing counseling and by supplying a small group of accountability/encouragement partners for each adult in these two marriages. We will also continue to provide financial support for Tim Sexton’s family through December 2008.
That moment and season in Tim and Georgia’s marriage was a “for worse” moment but that is not “the end” moment for their marriage or for our friendship or for their life in our church family.
God tells us in His Word...
“Brothers,if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.”
(Galatians 6:1 ESV)
Today, with grace, love and forgiveness, I want us to have a genuine “for better” moment in restoration.
(Tim and Georgia come to the stage)
Q & A with Tim and Georgia
In the video introduction John said that in his marriage “God has turned all that around” so let’s start with where your marriage is now...where has God brought you both as a couple?
(Tim makes a statement to church)
When went off two years ago, what was that season in your marriage like for the two of you?
What was the process God took you through to begin to restore your marriage?
How did counseling help you as God began to heal your marriage?
Prayer of Restoration
Transition-
I believe God want to use this day to demonstrate His faithfulness in your lives and in His church. But I also believe God wants to use this day to be an avenue to rescue lives from the torment of addictive lifestyles.
Statistics of an Assault on the Family
72 million unique viewers…monthly.
Divorce lawyers recently polled stated that pornography and inappropriate internet use played a prominent roll in 2/3 of divorces.
24,644,172 pornographic sites on the internet
More pornography is viewed on Sunday than any other day of the week.
Hollywood releases 11,000 adult movies per year…that’s 20 times more than mainstream movie production.
34% of female readers of Todays Christian Womens online newsletter admit to intentionally accessing internet pornography.
1 in 6 women (including Christians) admit to struggling with internet pornography.
THE ADULT industry admits that 20-30% of internet pornography traffic is made up of under-age children.
29% of born again Christians say pornography is morally acceptable.
The number one search on Focus on the Family’s website is a combination of the words “husband” and “pornography”
Worldwide, the pornographic industry revenue is larger than Microsoft, Google, Amazon, Ebay, Yahoo, Apple, Netflix, Earthlink…COMBINED!
(Video 2 Part 1 21:41 to end of Part 1 and Part 2 1:22 to 3:33)
Invite John and Shelli Mandeville to the stage
John you said that “God has turned all that around” so let’s start with where your marriage is now...where has God brought you both as a couple?
(Video 3 inserted )
Q & A with everyone. 4 mics needed for this group conversation.
Song “Free” by John Mandeville
Invite men and women to press “restart”, experience God’s forgiveness and freedom.
Announcements/end “Hold Us Together”
